So I Watch Bad TV


at least I knit through it.

A little known fact is that I occasionally watch bad E! shows. Today I caught E! Entertainment Special - 20 Hippest Hotspots while channel cruising after I got home from class. Now, this isn't a brain rotter or one of those armchair crusty geek "look at that hot chick" and sweat things. No, what separates me from the rest of the crowd is
a) I kinda like to look at the decor and don't enjoy the filled party goer shots in dark flashy lighting.
b) I'm not a party girl by choice. Really. I have friends. Beyond da intarweb.
c) I don't breathe heavily upon seeing tv stars on the tv in places which aren't tv sets. First, they're still on tv and I'm not there. Second, noisy breathers make me want to strangulate them. Or hand them nose hair clippers.
d) I am not addicted to E! to watch the glitterati. I flipped between it and X-Files.
e) I know that many of those "exclusivity" secret handshakes are pretty much, well, about exclusive as $50 and standing in line for a few hours. And freezing your tush and tatas off if you're dressed appropriately.
f) I saw the lounge beds in one club and thought "hmm. but isn't it too noisy to sleep in there? And oh ewww. Whose sweat is on there?"
g) dancing girls? I'd rather see the aerial act like I caught at Ra. The club world has enough dancing girls. I could just go to E3 instead to see booth babes. At least E3 has gadgets.

And the biggest reason I amuse myself by watching bad E! television is the repeating refrain every 4 minutes "Dude. that looks tiring. And crowded. Can you only show up for 20 minutes if you're famous? I like to sleep more than this party thing I'm seeing."

In all, this whole fame thing seems to involve people taking pictures of you everywhere especially when you're chewing or at the drive through. Maybe with tp stuck to your foot. Having people show up at all the places you like to go to except they're not Hollywood pretty nor have they heard of you. If they have, they've got a "great script idea". Being obligated to party like you're in your early twenties, just like imdb says you are, except your agent told you to take 4 years off your age. Get asked to sign tp or napkins. Have some person take your trash, including that piece of tp which was stuck to your shoe. Possibly autographed. And sharing air kiss space with the Olsen twins who stopped doing adorable and now just do skeeze.

It is easier to watch E! to fulfill my (raging) party life. At least I don't need to avoid gropage or take a shower afterwards. No extra calories or bar tab.

And yes, many E! shows are bad shows. If only they had also done a piece on amazing bathrooms like the Travel Channel.